"The more I considered Christianity, the more I found that while it had established a rule and order, the chief aim of of that order was to give room for good things to run wild."
Today's work: the beginning of some beautiful creation, mostly within my heart.
The altitude here in Colorado is giving me a little case of the not-so-great nights sleeps, but on the bright side that means I've caught some spectacular sunrises. (Why yes, that mountain is the view from right outside my window. Swoon.)
It also means I've had mornings to paint, reflect, and meditate on what my heart is learning and my eyes are beholding: so much spectacular beauty, so much of the presence of God.
Sitting at my desk this morning I realized something, a relatively new feeling for me: I have joy in my heart. My yoga practice is off with all this traveling and moving. So is my workout routine, and I haven't run in weeks. I haven't had much time to paint, even. I'm not sure where I'll be in a year (who is though, really?) I'm in a totally new place, with new people, and nothing is familiar: not my surroundings, my routine, my job- it's all new. And still, there is as much joy as when all those things are perfectly in place.
I've taken lots of unfamiliar risks since beginning my journey with the Lord. Risks in leaving old habits, risks in forming new thought patterns, risks in looking at the deepest, most wounded parts of my self to grow and change. Risks in changing the boundaries of relationships, risks in sharing my art (and my heart), risks in letting myself be and stay inspired. Risks in patience: in letting things take their course, in letting intuition- and God- work within me to get me to new (though unknown) places.
And I realized that the joy I have had through all this comes not from the circumstances that are being created, but from knowing who I am on the deepest, truest level. Our life manifests a wild authenticity when we know who our Creator has called us to be. The unknowns of circumstances and outcomes are no match for a known peace in God.
This, I realize, is the freedom I have wanted all my life: to be a good thing, running wild.