"I'm different. I will give you my treasure chest of darkness first. If you can handle that, then I'll bring out my shining moons. If one cannot handle the darkness, then one should not deserve the light. I have no interest in 'trapping' anyone into a silken web. I have no silken web."
-C. JoyBell C.
Psychiatrist Carl Jung said that the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people is by knowing your own. In the deepest understanding of the darkness within you (and maybe this takes years of personal inspection, struggle, and confusion to arrive at), you will always find that it is inherently related to lightness: whatever darkness you have gone through, should you truly learn and decide to cast it off as not belonging to you or defining you, a light will be revealed.
Not an intellectual knowledge of what that darkness is, or a psychological understanding of what you've been through, or a conceptual knowing of spiritual methods for overcoming it. A light is the ultimate revelation of a person's personal awareness of their darkness.
When you are consistently full of light- peace, calm, offering, contentment, generosity, compassion, lightheartedness, love- when you have found your light, you become aware of the places where others hold darkness- but, having truly dealt with your own, you are not afraid and you are not judgmental. You can even see where those who have hurt you are trapped in their own darkness; you can see and recall how blind you too were when you were trapped in your own.
And this is the scary thing about lightness, though it seems appealing: lightness reveals. Lightness doesn't hide. Darkness, shadows, can conceal and hide, but the light yields authenticity and purity. A person of lightness doesn't posit their 'goodness' as completely independent from their darkness, but is aware that they are different sides of the same coin. To believe that you can show people your lightness without also being willing to show them your darkness is not to be showing them lightness at all, but merely an appearance, the 'trap' of a silken web.
Have no silken web.