I can't believe tomorrow marks the start of the third week of my new job. I also can't believe how happy I am that I made the choice to join the great company I work for- not that I knew at the time what my experience would be like. The week I was offered my current position (I'm a sales account specialist at a marketing company), I was offered a position a day later from one of my favorite retailers, J. Crew, as a Personal Stylist. I so wanted to accept that role- I love working in fashion and I am comfortable in retail, as I've done it all my life- but something within me literally said, 'come on, don't do that. You know in your heart that you really need and you really want your life to change.'
I knew that more of the same old type of job I'd always had, with the same old minimal hours and the same old minimal pay- though all I've known and though definitely more comfortable- wouldn't really get me anywhere. I wouldn't really grow.
So I picked the thing that was harder to pick. Why is it that changes are always so hard? Even if we know they will bring good things, the feeling of letting go of familiarity can be so tough. I recently spoke about this with a friend- she has had a stable job as a nurse for two years since we graduated, but she's not crazy about it. And she wants her life to get bigger- she wants to move away from home, from the place where we grew up; she wants to do more than watch TV after a long day at the office; she wants to see new people and meet new people and observe new ways of living; she wants to see new things and broaden her experiences. And the way she will be doing that is to literally willingly and knowingly put herself in an uncomfortable, strange, new situation: she's going to Costa Rica to volunteer to teach English, quitting her job, leaving in September.
I have no doubt- nor does she, probably- that when she gets back in February she will say it was the best experience of her life so far and that she is so glad she did it. But right now all it is is scary and new and exciting and more scary. I could not be more proud of or ecstatic for her and her passionate choice in the right direction. And for the first time in a while I am actually really proud of myself for the same thing. I believe if you not only try to be a kind human being, but you really try to have the experiences you know you need, fully living in them and doing so with as much grace and humility as you can have, the universe will start to work with you. Sometimes it takes a lot of time, which is okay, and which means that no matter who we are- rich, poor, happy, sad, educated, not, young, old- we all have the same chance.