Monday, May 7, 2012

somebody

"part of the reason i try to be a better version of myself everyday is for me, obviously, but there's more to it than that.  i try to be a better version of myself everyday because i think i'm a nobody.  i was born a nobody, i was told i was a nobody, and i believed, for most of my life, that i was a nobody.  and if you took all the people who think that they are nobodys and you told them, 'i know this is what you think you are, but try to think of yourself as something else, something more positive- a somebody,' most of them wouldn't bother. if you took all the nobodys and you told them: 'try to forget what you see as your failures, your shortcomings, the the things that have been stacked against you, and try to be someone else,' most of them wouldn't do that.  they'd continue to feel sorry for themselves and make excuses and not fight for their own lives.  they'd stay as they are, as nobodys; only at that point, it wouldn't be the world's doing- it would be theirs.  it wouldn't be their parents' or their circumstances' or the "hand they were dealt's" doing.  i try to be a better version of myself because i know how much it hurts to get involved with people who see themselves as nobodys- how much their not trying, not believing in themselves, not daring to achieve anything real and meaningful and creative and great hurts the people who love them.  i don't try to be a somebody to prove anything to the people in my present and past who know me as a nobody.  i try to be a somebody for the people i will meet in my future who will want to love me for who i am, who will see me as a somebody- because if i don't, i let them down.  and i've seen enough to know that you never know who you're going to meet who's going to see you as a somebody, who is going to love you, who is going to push you and challenge you and see you for you, see you as a somebody.  if you think you're a nobody, you run from those people.  but when you believe you're a somebody, you embrace those people.  you rely on those people.  you get ready for those people.  you have to be ready and willing to grow the love they give you, or they will leave and you will be lost again and it will be too late.  i don't want to be a somebody who lets those people down.  i want to be somebody who shares their light, who believes in themselves, who knows who they are, who lifts people up."

xoxo

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